Hey I thought you wanted to talk to me…

Where ya goin’

I know men get tired of being accused of thinking with their smaller heads… well check it out, you guys must think our thoughts can only be worth listening to when spoke with the use of our lower mouths!
Speaking as a celibate woman, I want to discuss, no argue the concept of celibacy, because I don’t think people know what they are saying when they claim it.
I compare my celibacy with that of a vegan vs. a person who doesn’t eat ‘meat’…which I don’t. HOWEVER, I do eat cheese and dairy. Now when someone says, are you a vegetarian, I say no… sometimes yes, as there are differing levels of vegetarian living however, I never claim to be a vegan…for the above reasons, I eat dairy. Same with Celibacy… not having had sex in a long time doesn’t not constitute celibacy. Celibacy is a state of mind, a deadening of the body members that function for sexual activity. A celibate person is not aroused at the mere thought of having sex… a celibate person must be approached from ABOVE the waist… at all times. You can’t trick me into thinking sex is NOT sex…just like you can’t trick a vegan that meat is NOT meat.
Now on the flip side of this conversation…a celibate woman is not an UNWOMAN, just like a celibate man is not without MANHOOD…
I think it’s strange however, that men’s manhood can be judge by other means than his sexual aptitude, at least not at first… a MALE who can life heavy things is often called a man, however, a woman, without a MAN attached is sometimes only viewed as not a man.
No breast, no hips, no hair… not a man… but woman? Questionable. And you know I’m not lying…
Juicy, succulent and fertile…woman…
I will never forget my aunt told me one day, “You stay to long without a man (celibate), you gonna turn into a lesbian.” I will never forget how hard I laughed. Since when does sex equate with Orientation? If I was a lesbian I would not be celibate. My not having sex with a man does not define my orientation. Sex with a man only defines my sexual activity—or activeness… it does not define me. Sex with a man doesn’t not make me woman… it only makes me heterosexual. Sex with a woman would make me a lesbian or bi… (pardon me if I’m being politically incorrect ladies as I’ve never been inclined to make love to another woman, but I’m trying to explain something here and so…)
Anywho, where my celibacy takes me is beyond the flesh. Just like Veganism…which to me constitutes ‘purposeful sustenance’ eating with meaning… Celibacy means, purposeful aloneness…which eventually leads to meaningful purposeful intimacy… leading to a monogamous relationship with someone of like mind and spirit… beyond the flesh.
Just like one speaks up at a dinner when a vegan… or quietly just declines the mini wieners, as a celibate woman, YES I must speak up immediately when approached. It’s not to boast or brag but more to let it known that I’m going to pass on the mini wieners that are out in CLEAR VIEW… don’t lie. I know not every party has the wieners up for grabs but for the most part… we all know the beef is on the table. My hope is that one day I’ll here the words… “No worries… they are TOFU,” hahah but anyway… I digress…
Truly, what I’m saying is that no, I don’t hate sex, I’m not lonely, I’m not gay, none of that…it’s simple to define and I think India Airie said it best…when she said.. I am not my hair…well today it came to me and I guess I could say, I am not my vagina.

The Crush

The purposeful glance,
The over the shoulder, look
The too long of a stare while signing a book
The introduction,
The words exchanged
The stammering stuttering acting deranged
Oh my words I have a crush
Not in years, have I felt a blush
Hot with heat of want and lust
I walk away before I bust
The regret of abandon
The heart full of sorrow
The want for another today, over a new tomorrow
The mindless surf on the internet
The smile on my face
The realization that he's got a Myspace

Oh my words I have a crush
Every song explains the rush
Hot with desire that has no end
I quickly request him to be my friend
The arrangement to meet
The heart ever pounding
The amazing beauty of this man is astounding
The surprising kiss
The returned bliss
The moment not missed, in my chronicle of time
Oh Oh Oh, what a crush
The world around us is a hush
Future is not a thought, only now
Make this moment more perfect…how?
© Copyright M. McGriff 2007, Portland, Oregon.